Strategy of the Seating Chart

Oh Happy Thanksgiving Everyone! Well, here is your latest installment of fatherhood strategies that can add to the everyday shortcut enjoyment of your holiday times.  Help your wife set the table!  yes I said it, help her set the table.  This way, you can have some input in the seating chart for the family outing.  This only pertains if you are having a big celebrated family event.  If it is just your family, then it's just business as usual and you will probably have your normal seats.  Why is this important?  Great question!  But first we need to analyze the level of importance.  It is as important as watching the football game during thanksgiving, as important as making sure the wishbone was yanked out and dried for the kids to pull, and just as important as making sure there is some cranberry sauce on the table even though everyone is so reluctant to eat the stuff.
That being said, and grammatically incorrect as well, I offer you this piece of advice.  Choose your seat wisely.  Ask yourself what you want to be doing the entire meal.  At one point, you'll think that all that matters is that you are near your wife and children helping them with the portions they need.  Then you'll find yourself accidentally placed in the doorway closest to the kitchen.  Which is killer when it's a buffet style dinner.  You become the person that steps in and gets the salt, or grabs the bread from the oven, or gets your kids a quick glass of milk.  Again, if you want to do these things, then strategically place your child there.  But if you want to relax during your meal and enjoy your food, you must make sure that you get a seat the furthest/farthest(I never know which one to  use) from the kitchen as possible.  Then you become the playmaker, the one that starts barking orders and requests.  And if you are a magician, then you can figure out a way that your wife is in that doorway, because she usually doesn't want to tell you screw you at a family outing and wants to make sure that you get everything you need and want in life.  Just a tidbit to help you through this holiday season.