A summary of the events

I know it's been awhile since my last post but quite honestly I have been super busy with the holiday season and what not.  I am sure most of you paid special attention to the seating chart with the Christmas dinner and what not and realized how much I made sense.  I hit the seating chart lottery this year at my mother's house.  She had a perfectly designed children's table and I placed myself the furthest from it as possible.  As a result, my brother(because he was one of the closest) stepped up and dealt with the youngins during dinner.  It was heavenly bliss.  And while I can sit here and thank him for stepping up to the plate, I must also pat myself in the back for such a strategic move on the seating chart.  He was great for offering, but also really didn't have much of a choice.  Good guy, but great strategy.  And those of you that are always wondering why I do dishes at the family events it's plain and simple.  I do not want to be part of the cleanup down where they are opening gifts.  When you are down there, not only do you have to clean up, but you have to deal with the kids always asking you to open this gift that they want to try and it just adds to the mess.  This way, our kids open less gifts at my mother's house and therefore lose less parts in said gifts.  Truthfully, I think they would rather play with the other kids gifts anyway, this way, they can lose their stuff, and not ours.  On top of that, I'm sure my mom likes an organized dishwasher anyway, and it makes it much easier to put away when we are all out of there...see previous post....so without further ado I wish all of you(9 peeps) a happy holiday and a great new year.  I have some gadget ideas that will make your life easier when we enter the new year so stay tuned...

Blame it on the Children

Jaime Foxx has a song that came out a couple years back called "Blame it on the alcohol" that had me thinking about this next one.  A heads up gentlemen, and moms too, you have a permanent excuse built in at all times.  I use it rarely for fear of being the boy who cried wolf, but I use it nonetheless.  Blame it on your kids.  Yes, I said it, blame it on your kids.  When I say it, I mean anything.  Anything that you feel can get you out of an altercation, a problem, a razzing.  Whatever it is, for some reason in this world there is a certain sensitivity about the kids.
I was at the airport in a little debacle about how I was going to get home.  My flight was already delayed 3 hours, we were on standby for another earlier flight, which was a connecting flight too, and it was a nightmare.  I went up to the stand and told them that I needed to get back to Detroit that night because I have my kids that I have to get back to.  Instantly, the crabby helper behind the counter turned to positive and was doing everything she could to get me back to my kids.  Granted, my wife had the day off the next day too so it wasn't dire, but she didn't need to know that.  Now, gentlemen, there are certain times where this will backfire and make you look insensitive.  Be careful of this story in particular.
I was in Kroger the other day and a guy behind me had one item: a case of Budweiser.  I had my fair share of items and I was second in line behind a lady that had a full cart.  The man leans forward and speaks to the lady in front of me.  "Excuse me mam, is it possible that I skip in front of you, I have kids in the car?"...The lady replied back, "You left kids in the car so you could grab a case of beer, sounds like you have a problem."...see my point here, be careful when you use your kids as an excuse, timing is essential.
I recently have a legitimate disclaimer on my Christmas lights.  My son desperately wanted color in the front and much to the dismay of my wife I obliged.  She hates a mix.  If I am going to do white, she wants all white.  Same thing with color.  So when I decided to mix I brought her out and she was sorely disappointed and turned to me.  Before she could get anything out of it, I blurted out..."The kids wanted both."...now, does it excuse the fact the storm has trashed my lights from the roof and they are hanging everywhere, no...but it gives me a disclaimer of why my lights look white trash...the kids...

Minor Details can make it an easier day

My wife thinks that certain things I do are strictly Obsessive. I have to have my dishwasher set the right way.  I can't stand why toilet paper needs to be on a roll, it's so much easier to pick it up and unroll it.  I change my children backwards.  I use my left hand to do the wiping so my right can control the baby.  Yes it's weird.
Now we all have our little quirks and patterns in life and what we need to do is make sure we pick the patterns that make our lives just a little easier throughout the day.  My suggestions may seem rather minuscule to you but throughout the year it will help relieve some stress.  Since this is a blog to help Dads(and moms if it applies) shortcut their way to buy more time then I mine as well put my two cents in.
Sort your silverware when you put them in the dishwasher.  What a pain in the butt it is to put the silverware away when you could have just grabbed the whole section and put them in the forks part of the organizer.  This is a tell-tale sign of whether or not I have loaded the dishwasher.  One time, I paid the babysitter to do the dishes for me because I was running late and I got caught simply because of the silverware.  But in reality, so much easier.  And let's be honest, most of us don't unload the dishwasher until we have used at least half the dishes so it's easier to navigate and find that baby spoon for the next feeding.
Lastly, and I know it's only two but my sister-in-law is asking for more frequency in blogs, back your car into your parking spot.  This is new for me.  I did it last night and when I was taking the kids to school this morning it was a breath of fresh air that I didn't have to back up and turn around and all that nonsense.  Metaphorically, it is looking forward to the new day, not backwards.  Realistically, try and and see how it feels.  You will notice that it does feel good to just drive out of your driveway once in awhile.  See you tomorrow!