Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Top five things not to do when poop training your child

Poop training, kind of sounds as if I"m potty training a dog or something of the sort.  I don't know yet how girls do it, but with boys it's two steps.  First, get them to pee standing up.  Second, to get them to poop on the potty.  I have had my share of mistakes and I would like to post the Top Five things not to do when you are poop training your child.
5.  Do not start him out on the big boy toilet.  We made this mistake and he isn't as comfortable.  His feet are dangling and he falls in when he doesn't put the attachment down.  If we were smarter, we would have started him on the small toilet that goes on the ground, that way he can climb on without a problem.
4.  Do not take him out of his pull-ups too quick.  This is straight up a selfish issue.  This cleanup is ridiculous.  Even when he makes it to the toilet there are remnants there and you have to get a new pair of undies.
3.  Keep soap or sanitizer everywhere.  Even if you have a perfect cleanup(a cleanup where no poop gets on you whatsoever) the stench of poo will stay with you throughout the day.  Think of the movie mall-rats when he gives the guy a stink palm.
2.  Do not read success stories.  Oh these drive me crazy.  Know what else I can't stand?  I can't stand it when other parents tell me about there kid that was poop trained at 9 months or something ridiculous like that.  Everyone knows you are lying, so give it up.  Every kid is different and there isn't a pure formula for everyone.  When he is ready, he will be ready.  To digress, the same thing applies to walking.  If I had a dime for every parent that told me their child was walking at 9  months....absolutely absurd, considering at 9 months they are barely crawling.  If your kids are walking at 9 months they should be in the Olympics at 4 years competing in gymnastics because of their superior balance ability.  Stop thinking it's a frickin contest parents and tell the truth.  Oh yeah, did I tell you that my 3 year old can juggle a soccer ball 100 times already?
1.  Do not expect your child to go as long as you.  Sometimes I feel like these kids sit real quick and get back up and say their done.  Parents sit longer of course.  I think that is more so because it's actually a good resting place away from the kids.  Sorry to those that don't have locks on their doors.

Extra Credit:  Do pick on those that don't have kids during your training experiences.  For example, and I stole this from my brother, but if your child has pull-ups and drops a load don't just throw it away in the garbage.  Hide it in the house of someone without kids, or in their car.  A place in the car where he can't find it and the heat will make it resonate throughout the car.  Good times...

1 comment:

  1. I forgot to put in there to not overload the prune it will be a harder cleanup