Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Five things I wish my Mom would have told me about parenting

Parenting is one of the very few jobs where people just trust you to do it without any help whatsoever.  When we had our first I looked at the Doctor and was like "we just take him home, that's it?"...I couldn't believe that the hospital was going to just tell let me take the child home when I had clearly no idea what I was doing.  So here is a small, albeit condensed, list of what I wish my Mom would have told me before I became a parent.  There are plenty more, but a small list.
1.  Baby's aren't fragile.  In fact, they are the durable and resilient.  I learned this because my wife had a C-section and they literally yanked my child out and were holding him by the arm.  I didn't pay any attention to it at the time but as I reflect it makes me wonder why I was so careful everytime I was holding him.  By the third child, I would put her in my hand and pretend that I was lifting weights with her.  But I remember when I had my first I would hold him like he was an antique vase that would devalue if I were to get any sort of a bump or scuff on it.  This might be why my youngest will be the toughest of the three, but that is neither here nor there.
2.  Formula does not have to be warm.  You see all of these formula heaters and bottle warmers in babies r us and you think as a first year parent that it's a necessity.  It is not a necessity.  In fact, it's a pain in the butt.  We started with our first warming the bottles and it just took a minute longer than it needed to and our child become spoiled to only drink warm formula.  Solution, give them room temp formula from the get go.  I don't have any scientific studies to back this up, but my second and third will drink anything because of it.  Back in my growing up days, bottles use to be boiled or put in microwaves to get warm and you had to put some on your arm to check it.  This way you save time and the mess.
3.  Baby food tastes really, really bad.  I thought that since their taste buds were so underdeveloped that perhaps they would make them sweat, but it is comparable to that of dog food.  Honestly, dog food has that same no taste taste that baby food possesses.   Unfortunately, we are forced to feed them rice or oatmeal that is tasteless.  It's only through our decisions that we put fruit in there.  On top of that, the fruit still is bad and don't get me started on the veggies.  No wonder why kids hate them growing up.  I wish I could put some butter and salt on them...haha
4.  I wish my mom would have told me that I would think only my kid is cute.  I'm not saying that other peoples children are ugly.  But for some reason I am completely biased and think that my child should be on the poster for everything children.  I'm sure other parents feel the same about their kid but it makes me want to shake them and say "what are you talking about, my kid is cuter than yours".  I respectfully hold back on those urges since I'm identifying that I am way biased.  But in my mind, my kids crap greatness so I'm cool with it.  haha
5.  Lastly, and this does not mean it's the most important, that I would lose everything that is mine in the house.  New things get broken, the billiards room is now a toy room, the living room is now a play room...now, this doesn't go for anyone that has a basement...because usually those can be converted into a man cave or what not...or all the toys can go down there...or anything but having them littered around the house...however, I can't say that I don't like all the toys around...because when I'm in the living room I can watch my kids play as I'm watching t.v...and that's fun...so I'm cool with it...

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